HEAD GAMES

So my futurity is in 10 days and I’m having issues. Nerves. Now I don’t normally have a big problem with nerves before a show, and certainly never two weeks prior, but here I am practically doubled over with stomach cramps just thinking about my class. Art is working wonderfully – doing everything I ask of him and he normally acts the same way away at a show as he does at home practicing. I have no doubt that he will do fine – as long as I stay out of his way and don’t screw him up. I’m suddenly panicked that I am showing against trainers and the top RR yearlings. I can’t help it – I’m becoming my worst enemy.

And the one thing I keep rewinding back in my head? Last year’s futurity. Let’s see, I was just fine, no worries until it was announced that the class was being held outdoors. Now all the other futurity classes were held in the indoor arena, but we’re being regulated to outdoors – and it’s windy. I just bought a new blouse to go under my very cute western blazer and the thing is too big and made of very light material. The collar kept flying up and whipping me in the face. That was driving me crazy as was the fact that my hat felt like it was going to blow off any second. I just couldn’t concentrate while practicing on the course before my class. Then to make matters worse, I was standing by my friend and her family when Ziggy supposedly tried to bite this girl and she whacked him really hard..IN THE FACE! Well that totally did him in and he threw his head every time I tried to turn him. Arrrggghhh! The piece de resistance was during the pattern when for some reason not even known to me, I decide to “jump” the X trot over and totally freaked my gelding out. Blew my class – last place.

I am repeating this scenario in my head over and over and over again. What if the Perfect Storm happens again and I blow the class? I know Art can win this thing if I can just relax and work the course like we always do. Maybe I should have a beer or glass of wine before the class – maybe the whole bottle. Maybe I should do breathing exercises like I do in yoga class. Maybe I should just tell everyone that we’ll be last and be pleasantly surprised if we come in somewhere in the middle.

Ugggh…I need to go throw up.